Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron’s meditation on being “Thoroughly Processed: Comfortable with Uncertainty,” reminds us that we create our experiences by the thoughts we think and, subsequently, by how we choose to act or react. According to Chodron, “Our emotions have the power to run us around in circles.” If we can understand this, we can learn how we actually increase our own pain.
Breakups are challenging for both the people involved, whether or not the decision to separate is mutual. It is important to remember that the end of a relationship does not necessarily mean that there is something wrong with you personally; more often, something is wrong with the relationship.
Are you holding on to a grudge? Have you been angry with a friend or a loved one and you just can't seem to let it go? You may want to dig a little deeper and try to understand not only why you feel resentful, but also what your part in the situation might be. Sometimes we feel slighted -- anger is a normal and often valid feeling -- but how we react to our feelings is a choice.Studies show that people who forgive are happier and healthier than those who hold resentments. (Campaign for Forgiveness Research) (2006).
Yes, being in a healthy and loving relationship provides many benefits - a greater sense of security, a feeling of connectedness and a way to express our love and gratitude - but our love relationships need to be the icing on the cake, not the cake itself.